Healed by the Lion
Words by Tasha Leighton-Sa’id, Camborne
Even in the midst of Covid-19, Jesus fights to bring us life.
I awoke in the very early hours of 31st of March knowing something wasn't right. For the previous 2 days, I’d had funny dizzy spells, shortness of breath, and weird lung sensations (kind of like bubbles or fireworks were popping everywhere inside of my chest). But here I was at around 1am, wide awake, feeling like my body was on fire. My temperature eventually started rising & I woke my husband in a trembling mess. I was feeling very afraid.
By 7am that morning I was definitely not well, that was clear. It was hard to breathe, trying to talk sounded like I'd just run a marathon race, and I had shooting chest pains. A call to the doctor gave me an 'over-the-phone' diagnosis of covid. I was told to stay home and given advice on how to manage symptoms.
Things just got worse and worse. More and more symptoms developed. There were points I pleaded with God to allow me to live. Telling Him I wasn't ready to leave my children, that I couldn't even bear the thought. I had moments where I truly felt I was fighting for my life.
I got to the place of being unable to do anything... I couldn't talk or move… so I lay on my bed as still as possible to avoid the crushing chest pain and shortness of breath. There were other symptoms to deal with too but this virus goes after the lungs in an unbelievably cruel way. That was the worst part.
So I lay bedridden day after day just waiting & hoping for healing to come. Though I couldn't (vocally) pray, I couldn't worship, I couldn't praise... all I could do was be still... I'm so thankful that the Lord sees our heart! As that is the only way I could cry out to Him. There were days I thought I was maybe getting better but hopes would be dashed swiftly when I realized it was only a temporary reprieve.
At one point the paramedics did drive out as my symptoms didn't look good, but I was fine to stay home thankfully. I was desperate to avoid hospital. My husband made constant phone calls for medical advice, but always with the viewpoint for me to stay at home.
However on day 14, I woke up after an incredibly difficult night and I was just out of energy to fight this thing any more. I was done. My body was wrecked, my emotions were all over the place, and I felt like I'd come to the end of myself. I was so convinced that the Lord was calling me home, that I wrote out a letter to my husband saying everything I wanted him to know. As I wrote, I just sobbed & sobbed. All I wanted to do was get out of the bed I was stuck in and be with him and my babies. I just wanted to get back to normality, but here I was writing out a letter bringing closure to my entire life. It was crazy hard. But that's where I was. I even sent a message to 2 of my closest friends asking if they'd please step in to mother my children! Looking back now, it's hard to think about this as I was in such a desperate way. But actually... I felt ready to surrender if this was His plan.
And then shortly after all that... I started coughing lots of fluid which was blood-stained. I knew that wasn't a great sign and it of course added to the emotion of the whole situation. Everything then became a rushed blur of activity and before I knew it, I was on my way to the hospital. Our best friends were the only people from our church who knew what was happening. However, little did we know that by the time we would leave hospital a couple of hours later, that we'd have an army praying for us!
As I lay on the hospital bed having tests, I overheard my nurse telling someone that she'd spent the entire day before fasting, praying, and memorizing Scripture! I was too weak to even respond to this but knew that the Lord was with me and felt totally calm in this nurse's care.
As I started to drift off to sleep, the Lord suddenly took me into a completely different place. It was as if I was dreaming without having fallen asleep. And I saw and heard angelic visions with scenes of warfare in the spirit. It was an intense battle going on around me, which actually grew bigger and bigger. I had the sense this battle wasn't just for me, but a vision of what was going on in the hospital atmosphere around me.
And then amongst this battle, I saw a lion emerge and walk swiftly but gently up to me. This lion came directly down from the sky above me until He was right in front of my face. All I could see was Him, the battle was hidden from me, the fiery warfare out of sight. I stared into His incredible eyes, I could practically hug His mane. He told me there was an army of saints fighting for me, that He didn't want me to see or think about what was going on, but to just lay here with Him - to gaze upon Him. In that moment I became so fully saturated with peace that I forgot I was in the hospital. I was in a completely different realm... I actually felt that I was floating... completely devoid of time or space or even physical matter.
After a while, the doctor arrived back and kindly nudged me awake. I sat straight up and engaged in conversation with her feeling completely different. We both looked at each other a little confused... she explained that all test results looked fine, that nothing horrible was currently showing up in my body. And because I suddenly seemed so well, the conversation almost became one where I had to convince her I hadn't just made this whole thing up! The virus was gone. I could breathe, I could talk, I could sit upright. This horrible thing I'd felt in my lungs for 2 weeks had left.
I walked out of the hospital a different person to who had arrived. At home I was able to do things I hadn't been able to do for weeks - make a cup of tea, go up and down the stairs, have a shower! My whole family were shocked at the transformation. It was a miracle. Although there was still a process of physical healing to take place, and I needed time to fully strengthen & recover, the virus itself was gone. Finally. And my goodness, my phone was set alight with message after message! I learned that whilst I was in hospital, word had spread so supernaturally quickly that people and churches throughout Cornwall and beyond had been praying for me!! I did literally have an army of saints praying for me and I had no idea what that had meant. But the Lion had spoken truth!!
What are the things that I learned in this time?
How quickly it can be to give in to fear, anxiety & thoughts of condemnation. I had felt rock solid in my faith before all of this, but the symptoms scared me so much and I feel that's part of the reason I went downhill so quickly. I felt punished, I felt abandoned. It was hard to accept that the Lord would allow this to happen. But I had to get over myself. I had to rebuke all horrible thoughts! How to contend with this if you find yourself in the same situation? This verse was the one that consistently pulled me through the battlefield within my own mind:
”The Lord will fight for you while you only need to keep silent and remain calm.” - Exodus 14:14
In the moments where I felt my life was hanging on by a thread, there was regret. Suddenly I wanted to go back in time to my last 'healthy' day and do it completely differently. This experience has affected me so much that I regularly ask myself now 'what would I do in this moment if I only had ONE more day?' It's made me realize more than ever that we are not guaranteed tomorrow here on earth. Things can change very quickly! My daily mindset has shifted.
What a GIFT that we have being blessed with fellowship. What a true blessing it is to have each other. Even when I found myself in very low places spiritually, physically, and emotionally I never felt alone. I had a steady stream of sisters and brothers showing me love in different ways and continually pointing me back towards Jesus. I'm forever grateful!
The power of prayer! I knew this already but it was the first time I experienced what it was to have an army of people contending for me at exactly the same time. It was powerful. It was so mind-blowing in fact that I'm grateful to have gone through this trial just to experience it. And how amazing to know that we are all in this together.
Please be encouraged!!! Even though this has been an awfully challenging time, I actually wouldn't change it. I've come out the other side knowing even MORE of who God is, feeling even MORE loved, and even MORE eager to worship Him, to sit at His feet in humbled reverence. And I'm so incredibly grateful to now have this testimony to share with others. To share of His goodness and mercy.
I know there will be painful loss in this season, I know there will be heartache. I know that none of us are guaranteed a perfect life. We aren't guaranteed to never get sick. This is the world we live in. But I do know that we have an awesome God who is with us through all of the hard stuff. He doesn't fail us. He doesn't abandon us. He is the Mighty Warrior who saves. He's redeemed us and called us by name. We are His. And all things work together for good for those who love Him. We might have times of suffering but He restores. He makes us even stronger, even firmer, and even more steadfast! Please be encouraged my brothers and sisters. You are never alone. And we are in this together.
Words by Tasha Leighton-Sa’id, Camborne
May 11
